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Lowering Holiday Stress Part 4

December 15, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Tip #4 – Say No to Taking On Work of a Big Holiday Celebration

Tradition for many families in our society dictates that the matriarch of the family or the woman who is hosting the holiday dinner in her home is responsible for pretty much EVERYTHING.

All too often that means a ton of pressure leading up to the big day, all day of that day, usually followed by a crash all the next day and beyond. That is unless there are house guests (wanted or unwanted) which means being “on” for another day or more.

How much enjoyment does that person really have?

Depends on the person, right?

Some may actually thriving with this level of giving of themselves and creating a beautiful experience for their family and friends. Stress is positively framed, work is loved, and they actually gain in energy as it unfolds.

Others, though, cringe at the thought of another year of “work”. If this is you something’s gotta change.

Say no, outright. If that does not feel right ask for support from a lot of people in very specific and distinct ways. Share the wealth of creating a positive holiday experience. If few are willing, your back to saying NO.

If the obligation and pressure has always fallen on you then many people will unintentionally expect you to do what you have always done, perhaps not even realizing the stress it causes you. Talk to them about it as you ask for support.

You might be surprised at the result. It just might transform your experience of the holidays this year!

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Lowering Holiday Stress Part 3

December 15, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Tip #3 – Say No to Unwanted House Guests

Ever have those out of town people who always seem to invite themselves to stay at “Chez You” at this time of year.

You know the ones. You don’t share anything in common, their ways of living, use/abuse of your home, and maybe even their very values seem to be at polar opposite to yours and every second they are there causes you stress.

This year SAY NO. Pre-empt their invite by asking them what hotel they are staying at. Even give some suggestions. Be kind, be helpful, but be firm about looking forward to seeing them at whatever holiday event is planned. You’ll breathe a big sigh of relief for doing so.

What about the guests you invite to your holiday party, only out of some sense of obligation, even though you don’t want them there? Your relationship is not strong and you know their being there will be a bad situation for any number of reasons. Take a moment and check in with how you want your event to be for you and your guests. Stay true to creating the experience you desire and say no when it is right to do so. If you cannot and the experience you want is not likely to occur then maybe its time to rethink having the party in the first place.

You have the power within to create the holiday season experience you truly want. Surround yourself with the positive, aligned people that will support you in doing so this year.

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Lowering Holiday Stress Part 2

December 8, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Tip #2 – Say No to Out-of-Control Gift-Giving.

Have you been out shopping yet? Check in with how you are feeling about gift giving this holiday season. Gratitude and giving gifts out of love, to express thanks, and for any number of positive reasons is a wonderful thing at any time of year, as long as it fits our bigger life picture. However, it can easily become overwhelming, especially during the holiday season.

Do you feel obligated to get someone a gift because they got you one? Do you feel the pressure of the overwhelming media hype suggesting that if you do not spend spend spend then somehow you are not a good person? Do you see what friends and family are doing and get stressed with the need to keep up? Do you get into a competition with your spouse to “out do” one another with the best intentions at heart?

In the USA, where the economy continues to be in the tank, black Friday, small business Saturday, and cyber Monday hit record levels of spending this year. Here in Canada the average person in my home province of Alberta will spend $700 on gifts. That’s $1400 per couple or maybe more per family. The problem is that much of this spending is done on CREDIT without actually having the cash in the bank.

Spend some time before you spend your cash (or credit) and really connect with who you want to give gifts to and why. Then set a reasonable budget based on the costs of gifts and everything else you’ll be spending on this holiday season. Then STICK TO IT so you won’t be working to pay it off for months down the road.

Be aware of getting caught up in “tradition” and what society and the media says “should” be, especially if you don’t really agree anymore.

Don’t spend out of obligation or expectation.

Consider the consequences of acting out of obligation even when you really don’t want to or it causes you significant stress.

When someone unexpectedly gives you a gift, simply say THANK YOU, with genuine appreciation. Nothing more, nothing less. You do not have to reciprocate.

For some giving the gift of your time, energy and love is appreciated much more than some material thing. Really, it’s true!

How about a creating a memorable experience to share as a couples or family gift? It will mean much more than a material thing.

If all that really matters to someone else is that material gift, especially when cash is tight and they know it, maybe it’s time to see that relationship for what it really is.

Do enjoy the season, do give abundantly, but also do say NO when it is not for the right reasons and not in alignment with your bigger life picture.

 

Stay tuned for 2 more Tips for Lowering Holiday Stress coming soon!

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Lowering Holiday Stress Part 1

December 2, 2011 By Leave a Comment

The holiday season can be a very stressful time of year for many people. Demands on your time, finances, and energy can be all consuming and lead to higher anxiety and possible consequences including:

  • An unhappy holiday experience leaving you wishing it would just end now.
  • A month long hit on your blood pressure causing it to remain elevated with all the implications that can cause.
  • A slip or even a crash with your healthy eating leading to over-indulgence in holiday sweets, treats, and high fat food and drinks.

Be prepared in advance this year. Be conscious of what lifts your holiday spirit and what leaves you feeling anxious and stressed. Here are 4 tips to lower your stress so you can embrace and enjoy all the holiday season has to offer.

 

 

Tip #1: Say No to Parties That You Don’t Want to Attend.

 

Some time around mid November you begin to notice that your weekends are filling up and week nights are starting to be in demand too. With what you ask? Holiday parties, of course. There is your office party, your spouses office party, the party for your kids dayhome, several friends hosting holiday get-togethers, and of course many family functions including Christmas eve, Christmas Day, one side of the family, then the other, and any other festivities that may come along.

 

Wow! I’m getting stressed and tired just thinking about it.

Now you may love filling your social calendar. If so go for it and have a blast. But if you cringe at each invite as it fills your schedule and wish you could just relax a bit at home in front of the fireplace in place of some or many of those events then you gotta start to say NO!

Look at each event. STOP and check in with what thinking about that event churns up inside. If it’s positive and you are actually looking forward to it then say YES. If it does but you might need some support, such as a baby sitter, then defer your yes while you check into support. You can still say no if necessary.

If, however, the thought of that event causes a panic attack because you don’t want to be around certain people or a rush of anger because of a sense of obligation or expectation then say NO. Politely, of course but decline the invitation. You can have a reason ready if you like but be authentic and truthful.

Say no and you’ll instantly feel relief and you will enjoy those events you do go to that much more!

 

Stay tuned for the remaining Tips for Lowering Holiday Stress coming soon!

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